101 ..i saw my dream guy..=LEE HOM=

wassnt it the super duper dream day tat i always wanted to grant?!
wasnt tat the wish tat i thought i cant achived??

today ..i made wish into reality...
somehow...

it also ends the dream of a fanatic dream ..
it turns my possible to immposible..
let me back to reality..

i was few seconds on the stage..
some how i cant feel the passion tat i used to have..
i cant feel the urge from him..
i see sorrowness in his watery eyes..
i see pupets in his formal smile...
i see soulless when he is staring at me..

i get to give him the letter tat i used to write when i m crazy over him..
i get my bdae greeting from him when i request it..
somehow..i m stonning after i left the stage...
lee hom seems a robotic smiley charming puppets tat doin his job blindly...
i found dissapoinment and gratefulness in the same time..
sound sacrastic...

hweva, his memo changed my point of view when i reach home and read..
he seems the one i familiar with again..
i found the same person tat having the common problem all along this years...
i found tat he really busy for along this entire life..
endless bundle of task waiting for him to encounter...
endless impossible for him to convert it to possible..

house where he stay is just a hotel ...just like hw i went home everyday at 11 plus
home is always far away and hard to reach..just like how i m away frm klg frm sg....
family is always waiting for u at home...like how dad and mom is there for me...
partner is always one step away from him...liek how i still cant find mine...

i regret giving him bimbooish letters..
wat he really need is just a simple encouragment from fans or friends..
tats good enough...
all i can say is..if can just go ahead with a break !
forget about every glamour moment ..
enjoy ur simple life...

he makes me remember ..
my home tat waiting for me ...
dad mom , i love u ...
life is always happier when u simplified it..
simple life simple happiness tat u can find it when u are with a simple person...
so

everyone..

lets be simple minded..lol ..

xoxo... do smile for ur bottom of ur heart ppl~

ok audrey, tats the end of ur childish day dream plann...move forward to ur reality!!
thanks lee hom , by making me the end for my stupid dream...
u are the greatest familiar stranger tat i ever seen ;)
all e best~

wats life for?
spent ur whole life with a simple family with a place where u call it
HOME...
20 august 2010 novena square 2 singapore

100 appreciation and contented heart on 100th POST!!

hey people!! its my brithday today~!!!
i wanna say thanks you tahnks you by makin my 20th life so wonderful!
i love my friends and of course my dam cool supportive fam!!

i like the 1st suprise tat given by mingli and mingli at pu tian on 13th

i like the sweetness dare tat given by cute yan ming by giving me 2 cakes 3 dan tart 2 candles and on lighter

i love the little spike in the middle of the night for my official 20th birthday with a small choco cake from orgy (yan ming) ;deon tee ; and noob nnob wj tat kena areoplane by me

i wana thanks the cute cute little treat for MCD breakfast

i experince the tiredness and zoombieeness to YOG after the whole night chit chat ...

i APPRECIATE the little warmness from merlyn tat given by YOG incharged while i still slackin on table and slp~

i LOVlyLIKE the hardness tiredness unglamness unexpected suprise given by ALL my cliques and bb mate and my MP MATE~!!!the coolingness of having cold mango swendsens icecream .. the crazyness of cream fight!

and finally ..

i wanna thansk my loyalty deadly love cliques tat plotting a nice dinner white lies round and round( by jannah) and the CUTE DECORATIONS OF 7 CAKES In TOTALL!!! and the unfinished chicken bbq!!

i liek the sweet warm greeting msg and call from friends and family ...

i m touched by those ppl taht giving out wishes in facebook..i trying my vry best to reply each one of the ppl that put effort to sent me wishing greedings!!

the most important thing is
I WANAN THANSK the eefort of buying the gift that i unexpected yet my needest!
and the REALLY SUITES ME Product by WL and ML!!!
AND THE CREATVIE cd!!!! omg

thou i m zoombie look allike 20 yrs old lady ;
but;

i think i m lucky enough to deserve those..i m contented ...
thank you;
god!
I LOVE MY 17 AUG 2010 !!!

LASTly, happy birthday AUDREY!!!

99 sad post

again..depressed..and tired..
using freinds lab to do the stupid c4d since 6...
i m really tired doin stuff with stupid matter..wat can i do other than tat?
i always wondering y m i doin things with slow pace yet without any good outcome...
324 material for me to fill in one by one tracing the material make me insane man..
god~
please help me..i really dont wanna stay here doin nth man..its really holding me on ! i really got lot undone task... shitz..y i always looks so stresss?

i m tired

i seriously tired trice again...
i dunno wat kind of thing happened to me again..

i had cried badly just after i saw her pm..i know smtg tat gonna happened again..
i cant controlled myself when i heard mom's weeps...
i dint know tat i m tat emotions..
i dint know tat i care about her so much until she was gone..
is a sudden death
a tragedy ..
a single minute...

if now ask me to describe about one minute..i would say ..
please give methe one minute to bring her back...

i cried i cried i cried....
i cried a lot this few weeks since after i back from msia...
i have no idea wat m i doin ..
"personal taste" the korean drama truly brightent my day ,
i end up feel depress when the show is ended..
those star struck feel came back again
which i hate the most..

i m totally moodless to do things..like drug addict..
i kept ask myself to be active liek how i used to be..
but facts cant lie...
my face dosent showed tat i m happy thou i m still crapping...

i fall , i forgot , i panic , i lost , i depress ,i emo though out the whole week and finally yah
let me cried as loud as possible..
good luck for tmr PR1?
will it come true ..
today is like a dream to me....

Trust worthy

y trust is important ..
bcuz u can damage it just by once;
u take ages to built it back;
or mayb game over....

no matter how naive u are ; how childish ; how immature .....
all can be forgiven by trust ....
liar are hard to forgive ....
moreover a closest liar ...
saylesss....

trust once ; trust twice ,
being asked :"y are the ppl so stupid?"
they are not stupid at all ..but yah ..they are stupid at once point..
they betrayed by "TRUST"

today i m seriously dissapointed to the max ..this feeling come again since after 3 yrs ago ..
i m speechless.. advice are no longer applicable to me coz i m in my own world ..with my own said and anger..

i might be wrong stubborn unolerate and selfish ..
i pity ppl that is have faith for her so much ...
she will dissapoint a lot of ppl like me ..
the people that i thought who they are is no longer there..
mean while
trust is no longer applicable to this ppl .....

i m seriously tired

i m tired now... one day without slepping really not good for me..i can se all my dark circle are OBVIOUSLY out! ..i dunno whether is a right choice for me to stay yesterday ..i make everyone worst and tired..i dont think i do the right decision..the out come wasnt as good as wat i intend to have..i dint do my best ..coz i really tired..i m sorry to everyone..
i sorry to myself too....

crapper come again..coz i m seriously tired ...
BUT! there is no way to defeat me!
i still need to hold through out this important camp
no longer for myself..
no longer for reponsibility..
this is the camp for everyone...
is for the main comm and my helpers that i really can see thier cares and sincerityy.....


we can make it!!!!whoooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhoooooooooooooooooo

PROCRASTINATOR

i dunno wat m i doing rite now which i supposed to slp ...
writting blog really defeat the purpose of shout out loau as in now i have lot of worries by hurting other else...

met eugene sen g jst now tats the only time i set my self free to crazpp..
thats too many things for me to do in teh camp as i dunow whether is my own prob s..
or they shoudl doubt my abilities as i m not that strong and capable..
i m screwed up with all the helpers as there is no flexibilities in arrangement...

i worried bout helpers
i worried bout main comms
i worried about slide show
i worried about game flow
i worried about sudden probs
i worried about night walk preparation
i worried about my mp..
as i have too many WORRIES TO WORRIED!!!!!!!