END THIS!!!

I lost my phone again...since after 5 yrs be4 the picket pocket incident...

yah..deserved it..coz i really cant recall wats happening to my phone.. never really treasure it until ..it really gone..

always thought that lucky will be by my side..everytime it goes ,and it back..

finally ..today it really gone silently....

it makes my heart pumping up and down..i cant differentiate its a prank again or the real thing really happens to me...

i cant cry out perhaps i really still cant believe i really misplace it this time...untill i really cant find it up and down..

2hrs after being stonning facing mp project only i realize the mia of my phone... wat i saw is just my file and pen in the toilet..unanswered phone give me a slim hope again..plenty calls ..plenty massages...

until..i really need to face the fact that ..it really missing this time round..

broke down....

i dunno who to ask for help..i m lost....and i hate myself being unsober....

i dunno wat m i doin...

all the way from itech lab to ladies then mplab..such a short journey in a single block.. this things happen to me.. noone i can blame except for my real carelessness...

i dint do bad things..i dint take advantage of others properties..i just need the same treats from others....

is this a challenge or trickz?

it happend when i m so struggling with my mp..it happends when i still need to have flimming and talking with a SMILLING FACE in this critical period?

IS ALL THIS DESTINATE?!

gosh.... i wanna END THIS!!!!!

that kind of girl

有一种女孩
其实并不难看
或许有的还有点小漂亮
有的可能有点小才气
或者有的性格也比较可人
却大学快毕业了
也从未有过感情经历

总是被一些人认为
即使没有阅人无数
也至少曾经沧海了

有一种女孩
有很多朋友
也可能不乏异性哥们儿
有的可以一起谈人生论天下
思想交流无极限
有的可以一起结搭档做生意
生活问题伸援手
却始终茕茕孑立找不到那个可以执子之手的人

总是坚强乐观
却在转过身后独自舔舐着内心的空旷
总是开朗嘻哈喜欢热闹
却总是在热闹里失落找不到自己
然后寻觅一个小角落
回到那个安静的自己


有一种女孩
就这样在年复一年日复一日中
剩下来了……

这样的女孩
也许很懂事是孝顺父母的女儿
也许一路成绩优秀是他人眼中的乖乖女
也许善解人意是朋友心中的一抹温暖
却其实天生没有安全感
总是害怕着什么

现代社会
不期待爱情的女孩通常没有
现代社会
对现实因素没有考虑的女孩也通常没有

总可以听到这样的谆谆告诫
女孩子最重要的是嫁人
是现实....
一起久了
感情就有了
孩子有了
感情就牢了
关键是要有物质基础
可是真是这样吗?
那爱情究竟是什么呢?
如果说是一种感觉..
是不是也很飘渺啊?
你又怎么知道那个你为之心动的人也为你心动呢?


这样的女孩
甚至有的给人大大咧咧的印象
或者干练的女性形象
喜欢和异性朋友以兄弟相称
其实是为了保障自己只当做朋友的人
不要再往前走
以免大家尴尬
能够友谊长存

这样的女孩
可以和大多人成为朋友
却对心中那一个位置
紧紧看守
谨小慎微

有的人费尽心力却走不进半步
有的人不太经意却已生根发芽

这样的女孩
如果有喜欢的人
也多半是默默地暗恋
静静的祝福
自我的束缚限制
内心的保守被动使得她们只能等待
等待一个没有期限的结局

害怕主动接近示好被看低
连尊严都丢掉
害怕彼此最终成牵绊
连朋友都没得做…


这样的女孩
和兄弟可以捧逗自如自然相对甚至不拘小节
但面对自己在意的人
却退避三尺不知所措甚至遥相观望

很多人、很多时候
错过了....
女孩却依然无能为力

这样的女孩
也想过接受某个人
明明他很好却始终找不到安全感
换不掉那个在心底隐隐的人

这样的女孩
也有的太习惯了单独的生活
有时憧憬两个人的路
却始终没有走进心里的那个人
觉得有点疑惑
假如两个人在一起
该怎么过呢?
该干什么呢?
彼此习惯也许会有很多问题呢?

于是..
于是..
这样的女孩总是给自己太多的顾虑
太复杂的限制
只好剩下了


这样的女孩
再过几年就二十五六了
如果没有做到很高的层次
在各种压力的作用下就该开始寻觅着嫁人了

可是还没有恋爱过呀！
难道真的相亲、为人妻、为人母
就这样一辈子?
这让她们害怕......

这样的女孩
曾经一直相信天长地久
却被太多次的告知
如果想找寻纯净的爱
还是抱着曾经拥有的态度吧！

这样的女孩
如果有喜欢的人
一定希望可以在一起
哪怕不可能
却被太多次的告知
女人要找一个爱你的人而不是你爱的人

这样的女孩
在80后的剩女中
占据着一席的地位
尴尬着有些落寞茫然

这样的女孩
在80后的人群中
无论求学还是工作
知道自己任重而道远
要独自去努力

这样的女孩
在80后的人潮中
终会被拍上堤岸
但愿到时不要离幸福太远.........

* always..i being so confused about myself..i dunno how to describe myownself...self puzzled...finally ..i realised..wasnt me the only one..smtg tat tell me who i m ...

those who dont understand me ..well ..yah ...i wanna say..

yes....i m these kind of girl....

Y.O.G!

hey yo ..yup today is the totally ends of 2 weeks yog which slotted in the critcal period of our mp..



btw..i m still glad tat i had joined this...and honestly ..



i gonna miss all this~







the cute racer from virgin island had won a gold medal!!



which is the most unexpected one ..



coz frm the beginning we thought tat he just look like an easy goin boy..lol



with his worn outfit...



hey boy..if u still remember me, i m the blue eye girl tat u always said.."hey, ur eyes are blue again today~" lolz...



dint expect tat the boy tat always asked frm lunch frm us is the winner of the 1st yog ..good luck boy!! ;)




**here he is ---virgin islander ian barrows boys byte class II...;)






if time can be reverse ;



* for the spain coach tat givn us suprise every single day with his mesmerizing eyes..



i should had approarch him to take photo together ..



and i m still curious bout the last word that he whisper to me..



if i got chance to meet him..do hope so ..he will telll me again tat u have a beautiful eyes~LOL!







* for the yog workforce, i should take picz with everyone of them~! lousy phone bat flatt in such critical day..haiz....



wires name tat had is ready forget to bring again..



card that should write dint able to pass







*during the competition period , i shouldn have talk to those athlets rather than just givin a polite smile..which is not me aud~ aiks.. we are too conservative ? lol..







* me and yan ming SHOULD BE COME on TIME at least once?



* i wanna say " hey u are really very pretty and unique , avatar girl , " lol



and compliment so go to the peru guys and usa girl ..







however , overalll is still vry memorieable as



we make alots of adults friend who really brought us to the higher rank of conversation..no more lame jokes and crapping around..but with a lots of prank frm our funniest brother john..



who make us get peck on cheek and hand ...lol~







besides, we also made kinda few funny suntec f&b boy where we work together during food distribution ... !



and of course!



the venue operation bell , molly , annie , kamariah yasmin and f&b head conrad and the transport ariff & media team kia and cute smiling man ...which brightent each day we having there ;)







and i wanna thanks for the FULL BUNCH(or consider box?) OF ENERGY BAR!! which really BRIGTENT our EYES!!



aunties ben se comes again...



thansk for reserving the bars for us , thanks for giving the sourvinier to us ..thanks for the caring heart from u all!!







thou i m kinda sad and sienz when we need to work fr 2 weeks time, and spent mins like years initially, i m glad tat i hav ym as companion , shifted to f&B to help up and meeet a lot of voluteers adults!!!





there wont hav this chance any more,
nice food;nice drink;nice teh tarik ;nice ppl ;nice experience;

NSC YOG ,u 'll never be forgotten !!!! ;)



#10 08 10---- 25 08 10#

101 ..i saw my dream guy..=LEE HOM=

wassnt it the super duper dream day tat i always wanted to grant?!
wasnt tat the wish tat i thought i cant achived??

today ..i made wish into reality...
somehow...

it also ends the dream of a fanatic dream ..
it turns my possible to immposible..
let me back to reality..

i was few seconds on the stage..
some how i cant feel the passion tat i used to have..
i cant feel the urge from him..
i see sorrowness in his watery eyes..
i see pupets in his formal smile...
i see soulless when he is staring at me..

i get to give him the letter tat i used to write when i m crazy over him..
i get my bdae greeting from him when i request it..
somehow..i m stonning after i left the stage...
lee hom seems a robotic smiley charming puppets tat doin his job blindly...
i found dissapoinment and gratefulness in the same time..
sound sacrastic...

hweva, his memo changed my point of view when i reach home and read..
he seems the one i familiar with again..
i found the same person tat having the common problem all along this years...
i found tat he really busy for along this entire life..
endless bundle of task waiting for him to encounter...
endless impossible for him to convert it to possible..

house where he stay is just a hotel ...just like hw i went home everyday at 11 plus
home is always far away and hard to reach..just like how i m away frm klg frm sg....
family is always waiting for u at home...like how dad and mom is there for me...
partner is always one step away from him...liek how i still cant find mine...

i regret giving him bimbooish letters..
wat he really need is just a simple encouragment from fans or friends..
tats good enough...
all i can say is..if can just go ahead with a break !
forget about every glamour moment ..
enjoy ur simple life...

he makes me remember ..
my home tat waiting for me ...
dad mom , i love u ...
life is always happier when u simplified it..
simple life simple happiness tat u can find it when u are with a simple person...
so

everyone..

lets be simple minded..lol ..

xoxo... do smile for ur bottom of ur heart ppl~

ok audrey, tats the end of ur childish day dream plann...move forward to ur reality!!
thanks lee hom , by making me the end for my stupid dream...
u are the greatest familiar stranger tat i ever seen ;)
all e best~

wats life for?
spent ur whole life with a simple family with a place where u call it
HOME...
20 august 2010 novena square 2 singapore

100 appreciation and contented heart on 100th POST!!

hey people!! its my brithday today~!!!
i wanna say thanks you tahnks you by makin my 20th life so wonderful!
i love my friends and of course my dam cool supportive fam!!

i like the 1st suprise tat given by mingli and mingli at pu tian on 13th

i like the sweetness dare tat given by cute yan ming by giving me 2 cakes 3 dan tart 2 candles and on lighter

i love the little spike in the middle of the night for my official 20th birthday with a small choco cake from orgy (yan ming) ;deon tee ; and noob nnob wj tat kena areoplane by me

i wana thanks the cute cute little treat for MCD breakfast

i experince the tiredness and zoombieeness to YOG after the whole night chit chat ...

i APPRECIATE the little warmness from merlyn tat given by YOG incharged while i still slackin on table and slp~

i LOVlyLIKE the hardness tiredness unglamness unexpected suprise given by ALL my cliques and bb mate and my MP MATE~!!!the coolingness of having cold mango swendsens icecream .. the crazyness of cream fight!

and finally ..

i wanna thansk my loyalty deadly love cliques tat plotting a nice dinner white lies round and round( by jannah) and the CUTE DECORATIONS OF 7 CAKES In TOTALL!!! and the unfinished chicken bbq!!

i liek the sweet warm greeting msg and call from friends and family ...

i m touched by those ppl taht giving out wishes in facebook..i trying my vry best to reply each one of the ppl that put effort to sent me wishing greedings!!

the most important thing is
I WANAN THANSK the eefort of buying the gift that i unexpected yet my needest!
and the REALLY SUITES ME Product by WL and ML!!!
AND THE CREATVIE cd!!!! omg

thou i m zoombie look allike 20 yrs old lady ;
but;

i think i m lucky enough to deserve those..i m contented ...
thank you;
god!
I LOVE MY 17 AUG 2010 !!!

LASTly, happy birthday AUDREY!!!

99 sad post

again..depressed..and tired..
using freinds lab to do the stupid c4d since 6...
i m really tired doin stuff with stupid matter..wat can i do other than tat?
i always wondering y m i doin things with slow pace yet without any good outcome...
324 material for me to fill in one by one tracing the material make me insane man..
god~
please help me..i really dont wanna stay here doin nth man..its really holding me on ! i really got lot undone task... shitz..y i always looks so stresss?

i m tired

i seriously tired trice again...
i dunno wat kind of thing happened to me again..

i had cried badly just after i saw her pm..i know smtg tat gonna happened again..
i cant controlled myself when i heard mom's weeps...
i dint know tat i m tat emotions..
i dint know tat i care about her so much until she was gone..
is a sudden death
a tragedy ..
a single minute...

if now ask me to describe about one minute..i would say ..
please give methe one minute to bring her back...

i cried i cried i cried....
i cried a lot this few weeks since after i back from msia...
i have no idea wat m i doin ..
"personal taste" the korean drama truly brightent my day ,
i end up feel depress when the show is ended..
those star struck feel came back again
which i hate the most..

i m totally moodless to do things..like drug addict..
i kept ask myself to be active liek how i used to be..
but facts cant lie...
my face dosent showed tat i m happy thou i m still crapping...

i fall , i forgot , i panic , i lost , i depress ,i emo though out the whole week and finally yah
let me cried as loud as possible..
good luck for tmr PR1?
will it come true ..
today is like a dream to me....