2.58..is my only free time i spare for my self

this is the time wher i suppose to sleep since..tmr is another battle for me to run...venue?
MOdani free excess lab...grill fish...a tiny char..drive me crazy..
seriously ..unhappy feelings came across again...i kinda break down todae..since nx week all my project need to pass up already...

went out with yessie and eugene on sat..(which makes me hesitated frm quite long) since i haven't finished my things..but end up ..i still go ...coz a break really needed by me..thanks to them...while happy..sorrows inside....

.woo..out of sudden ,reading bea blog..seems liek she really grown up huh..having relationship rd i think...nowonder so feminine rd..... which suddenly link of mine...
"relationship " visit me recently..which come in the wrong time....vry frustrated..vry complicated....vry confuse...
.feel sorry if i m too direct or too random tat day...
like PMS...but actually i m not.which is even worst...
dunno y so fras tat day which make me so explosive..wher my courage get frmm.. ? no ideas..frm subway sandwhich?ha..
which hurt someone but i m jst hack care on tat day...coz..i jst wanna clear at least some probs that bear in me...

is it guiltiness or wat.... i feel empty on sun and tats too for todae...i do my teleprin research for whole day..yest ..end up zero...feel like vomiting and cry...i m ike stupid freak...
frm morning till night...doin the same stuff....appreciate on those who help me..vry touching thou some =0..but it let me realise ,hey audrey..u still have friends with u ...
ya i m ..i should feel fortunate....

projectssss......assignment....ideation...mct....modani... make me CRIED!!!! i really duno how to handle...staying back doin ideations...haizz....wl+ ml=tm1(shopping); bb main com =celebrate joel's bdae....me=? end up alone ..doin stupid stuff in the club room.....

nx weekend..critical weekend...i really cant cope..wanna go home? how ?fridae camp...chalet.... dental appointment...mct? modani???gosh..break down..really breakdown..
now only is my time where i can free myself...i being enclose to myself...i dont wish to talk..i lazy to talk..i feel bad by not celebrating joel's bdae with a good mood today ..sorr if i showing glum my face..
coz ..i 'm just...
TOO TIRED?neither physical nor mental

thnks to those who love me...thnaks to ming jing ..jannah...and my cliques
thanks to yess , eugene , grace , Lq ,..its touch when u all make me feel tat i m still play an important role in the club...it makes me feel really better.....
i want to go for camp...go for chalet..yet..i wana go home....wher ? wher? should i go....

In a nut shell..i need to beg god....give me strength to live...give me a relax mind set..let me take my learning life happier...i want to live happier....i want poly be my memorable life...

thank u .....& gnite

I NEED A BREAK!!!!

I WANNA RUN! I WANNA SHOUT ! I WANNA SCREAM!!!!! V~
)mrwU
WHO ALLOWED ME TO DO SO?!?!?!! U


I WANNA MEET MY FRIEND!!!!!

I WANNA TELL ! I WANNA POST!!!!

Y Y ? WATS WRONG WITH ME~!?I DONT EVEN HAV TIME
Y Y ? UPDATE MYBLOG!
Y ? HOLY COW !!!!
Y ?
Y ? I WANNA UPDATE!!!!
PLS ....WAIT FOR ME!!!!

THE BUSIEST GIRL EVER!!! I NEEED Y

Y Y i need a pair of eye...
Y Y Y ear... to hear..to
Y NOY see...wats inside me ... ,
Y Y lend me urs ?
Y

lolz...happy for a while?

let me be happy for a while..ya..
double happiness frm larlene and bea..destress for a little while?hehe
after a big storm happen on Wednesday in my sg house..
...
ya just for anyone information..
yeah i m moving out soon...frm a..
(disappointed land which used to be my wonderland)
to a new room which few blocks apart.yeah..out tricks work~really gt sombdy called us..
thanks to pc who help me distribute those notes whithin the few days...and also Mr eugene...haha who accidentally become our WITNESS for our new rental agreeement ..(which make eugene proud of it..)lolz~!

Big storm on tat day..which i already annouced to most of my friend..haha..
perhaps i like to blame or tell ..
due to this mayb ppl think wat for u keep on telling everyone bout it..try to get pityness frm others? ..
no i m not..i wanna shout out coz.i jst cant keep things in my heart...perhaps i m vry childish..k tats me..u can choose nt to listen thou...

ok no matter wat..thou i m vry sad bout it bt seriously only tat i really know tat i m wrong..frankly speaking ..after a big scoled frm her..perhaps i really WOKE UP frm my ass attitude (as wat she say) ..thankz for scolding me huh..so far..i havent get a big scoled frm "STRANGER"...
haha ..thhankz for this incident ..i really GroWn up..and
the moral of the story is..
@think more for others..
@NOT TO WASTE ELECTRIC..NOT TO ON MODEM FOR SO LONG...
@DONT BE TOO NAIVE..( be good infront dosent mean she really mean it)
@BE MORE ALERT..(plz get the hints frm others..)
@dont cross over the border line btw landlord..and tenant...liek wat ml say....
"there is no such things as a forever freinds.."mayb she is rite..plus summore we are jst a relationship btw tenant and landlady..all the past are fake...ya..mayb u dont even treat me as friend...
i m wrong..i apologise here...but ther are smtg tat i wanna say..i used to be vry appreciate..the kindness and the easy goin of u...however..after the electric cut incident..drastic changed btw our realtionship..we end up movin out with a akward situation ...k thats the end..

wat days m i having now?

why why why...
wher is my happiness?

why i m so negetive these few days..

i m confused...i cant differentiate....

when m i happy? ..when m i sad?..i dunno

y i m happy ..y i m sad..

y i m in the messs..y i m unlucky..y i m tensed y i m emoish...

should i glad...should i satisfied..should i be happy...

perhaps ...alll are illusion.....

i can be happy while i m sad...i can be sad while i m happy...

can u ?

m i sickening ..or...perhaps i ned sombody to teach me wat to so how to do..anyone..

willing to help?...

i dunno where my problems are..whats the prob and difficulties i having now...

My room are no longer home...i dont wish to go home..this is the saddest part i found in me...

proj?

task?

rooms?

marks?

friends?

in a nut shell i m confuse.....

btw..by makin eugene quit smooking campaign is a achievement for me..good deed?if he dont mind....jst to say eugene u make me proud if ucan really quit smoking....perhaps smtimes i really gone toofar..i declare my sorryneesss 1st..haha

k bye all the best to me...DONT BE CARELESS ANYMORE~!!!!

god bless me..

.

MY SHIOKEST DAY ~!!!

Diary of Shoppaaaholic queen -11/06 09

<----WOOHOO~!!!! our BOOTY~!!!!

today..is my shiok -est day in my life..i really spent liek crazy..things seems zero $$ for me!!wohhooo.~!
not because i m spendy is because things are cheap~!!!! cheap~!!!
cheaP!!~~!
all i need to say is..thank you ..thank you and thank you..
thank you daddy ..as our mobile ATM todae....thankz for happy because of our happy ..thnakz for the cheap stuff~yet nice! #daddy..I LOVE U~! i know u willing to let us spent coz u know i m stress...i appreciate it a lots~!

thank you mummy for the spent in pasar malam~!love ya~!where we grab our 3 bags there~!gosh..2 of mine!!damn excited to bring back~!wohhoo!!!!and also nice tee~!!!!!~~gosh
damn soft...and smooth....nice texture~!regret didnt buy more~
we are tired but ALL WORTH!~! WOHOO>>ya .thnakz being make me feel balanced after stress up so much in sg... KL....my leisure day i spent...in nice resort--my aunt house wahhaa..
everthings seems so enjoyed..ya..forget bout my project..k i know i need to face it after this week..k jess stop emoing..
ok~! OVERALL today is A HAPPY DAY!! I LOVE U GUYS~! everyone~!thank for the shirts.thanks for the shoes .thanks for the bags...thanks for the bottoms..thanks for the FOOD~!
i 'm HAPPY and yet..really ...i m SATISFIED~
GO go GO GIRLS~!!! OUR MOTTTO~-->
"WE GO FOR QUANTITY ~! WE GO FOR QUALITY TOO~!"


<---my 2 helpers= ah sei and maria snatch thief~!

whoo..which to choose~!?

<-- we hired miss universe to take care of our stuff~!

hehhe..this wat we call SHOPPING~!

mushi mushi.."taxi plz ..deliver our stuff for us~"

the shoe~S4'--shoe forever~

one ATM +one GUARD = one SHOPaHOLIC~!

#the end#

Bb C@mPZ R0cKZ~!!!!PEnDuLuM~!

Ya..finally is the 2 weeks holidays for me...step ahead to the tougher bettle..
3 49 at kl , my aunt house now..
jst about to wake up after fed up connecting the internet to my pc at 10 + jst now...

finally are awake and wanna blog bout me CAMP~!WOOHoo~ PENDULUM..
jst came back frm my bb camp..
it was awesome..coz the turn out rate are quite high~unexpected return frm the camp..

1st of all ,be4 the camp start i m kinda moody ..honestly..feel kinda blue when qian yu and yan ming say they wasnt comin..is like storming(*krong ~!krong~!)when weiling callled me and say " one food poisoning and another one need to attend wedding" ha..i understand..coz really is diff for them also..ya i know...however ..luckly the wl gt come ...luckly ur devil side cant win ur angel side...and finally u came..thx alot.


Feeling nervous when i get to contact with my freshie at the 1st time..during ice breakiing..honestly..i cant break them well..luckly all are kinda sporting .but yet quite ..but yet diff to control..
during ice breaking period..others start to high rd..our group..are so dead..even me and mon cant bring them up..kindaworried ..and a little depress..i scared our group are so dead...
being stu ..i dont mind..haha as long i can warm them up ..
i tried my vry best to interlock them well..succed?i not sure..hahha..btw my super hyper active perhaps did a little effort in it?hhaaa..."hunks" are cooperative but not vry high..btw.thz to the girl who are vry supportive.one is carmen -my freshie and another one is weiling-my dear..both girl are more hyper cooperative then guys lo plz...playing the 007 and chuckie chuckie are nice..bond us well ~and also the punishement~whahahaa..damn stupid being running along the concourse level...and shout we lov engine*4.

after tat was the mass game..which combined all the 52 participant there..nice game for the squirell and tree~!i lov it..thou i m group leader.but i seems more enjoyed then them...ha!after that..dinner time...coz camp start at 4..we went opp sch to eat by group...decide to eat kfc?i asked them to run!coz i scared no place to sit..since ther are so many other group are eating opp sch....sorry bout tat....i made Jerup rolling on the floorr...scared me..luckly he is tough enough...
however..his falls are wasted..coz in the end we are eating at techno food court.ha! coz all no $, in the end,after ordered my drinks ..walk walk walk..-->i went home..no appetite.take my bag and.cooked my half left Maggie..by the time i m back to techno..they already finished their dinner and about to be back to sch.in the end i ate in sch..

Game time after tat~woohoo.nice one...1st station..eat eat eat again~!this game is nice..just after eating ,we are asked to finished all the food given one by one..1st are the wasabi twisty..we as a group are like Hungarians..barbarian ...munch the snacks like no1 business ,drink condense milk together, peel and eat the sourish lemon..eat the disgust bitter grout tat i cooked(ha~!)..damn fun..i think we are the fastest team..€

later on ..play around with lots of other game...running around the sch like mad fellow..leg are aching like hellll..(i cant even walk properly now-.-")
however , the most interesting part is the part we did our CHEER~! I LOVE IT!!!
"dum DUM dum DUM..pendulum*2 Pen pen PENDULUM!!"
the chim choreography are nice and amaze me~!i love the team work tat we hav..even they are mostly guys ..but they dont mind to be GAY~hahha..hard gay~wahhaa..i love the idea..i love the cooperation..thkz at lot..i like the enthuse of the "sub comm"they dont mind keep on changing the patterns the step ..the cheer..again again and agian till it was perfectly PERFECT!i like the way we cheer ,the respond tat given after leading the cheer...the way we called our self 'PEN PEN,or ben ben or even BEN10!!gahaah!..WE did bond together tightly tat time~
though it NG n messed up most of the time but i liek the spirit A LOT~!which i dont found it in the other camp be4..

frm wat i heard .yes..we did vry good for our 1st day...we are the fastest grup~congrats u guys~hehe..later on ..was the Tee designing stuff... I LOVE IT!!! we think of the lots of stu idea.thou not many respone or ideas tat given out by the sub comm..but we did came out with one templates ..NICE one~heheh...btw...the tougher parts are ..how to cut the templates..the fabric paint given are little..so we need to consider alot..after cut of the templates...n try to tab the paint ..it smudged..
again...i cut vice versa of the design at...the stupid hard card board with my whole concentration till my back pain sia...i think at the moment ...i m more enthuse then them..ha..psps....
finnallay it cut..too bad..the returns are sucks ..it worst to make it as a stamp..it smudged seriously..feel like givin up...
however ...carmen and suey..did came across with a good idea and design...~!after several try and erro..hehe...we came out with smtg new~!.by having the concept of by not WASTING the ink.. came across to print the residue at the back instead of print on a paper~so waste...hehee
coz of tat we havin AWESome yet simple design tat diff frm others..
we are like a printing factory..do thing systematically..helping each other..do better and better each time ....jokes around..

<--tamplets <---outcome tee~!

i m touched tat they willing to stay back and insist to accomplish it thou it was already late night and is optional for them to stay..i m so stress up when we cant hav a good tamplet and when printing time....i m vryvry glad when i heard the compliment..the encouragement and the good feed back frm them.phewww relief..happy!Thou we are last grup to leave but the hard work pay ~!vy the time we end...is around 3 smtg...after tat only we went to bath...together..erm ermmi means girls k...

after tat...wasnt a time for me to slp k...while others are slpping..we still doing the cards for the empires..like usual.i m doing my favor task..twisting and coiling the wiress for 50++ ..can imagine how dead meat we are...-.-"6 plus..only we start to slp...-.-Zzzzzzzzz tired sia...

8 + woke up..alerted by my sub com who went home yest..mummbling on the phone..and finnally awake..after breakfast ..havin games again~again~we did do thing together..playing captains ball at the bb court..shiok ar..thankz to the strategy given by thinage..hehe we won some point~after tat was the tug the war...tat one kinda scary..we won in the 1st place with nice strategy frm suey..too confidence when vs the 22nd team we won..end up
some one felt down some one hurt his ankle..feel bad bout it..sorry sky n keith..coz y?thou all smal size..ther are a huge tat behind which we dint realise~!!!hahaaha...shiok exciting and fun...thou was damn warm..

~IQ EGG~!heehe..try be4 to drop ur eggs frm 8th floorr yet still remain its perfect view...hmm hmmm..bidding time~bid for material to do protect the egg ,1st time i can feel the nervousness by bidding..strategised..stragtegised..howeveer..haha..we dint managed to bought the 2 things tat we really needd....due to some miscommunicate and wrong strategy and being tricked by other group..haha we did learnt a lot~^^....all havin parachute.except out team...ha~..special one..with only masking tape string tissue and straw...we did a nice one.".dumpling ketupat"!...hahaha..its really miricle if the egg wont die terribly..hahhaah

show time~all land slow nice and steady..hahha except for ours..waha!POOM!fastest...hav a look...suprisingly..no leakage..jst tat..one side of the dumpling flattent..haha..who cares?we are happy enough..with the outcome..thou we know..its already crack inside..hahahno leakage consider vry good enough~
later on ..game again...at the tembusu area...playing rush hour game...quite fun..but...we ..haha..the last team..hehe..stuckin the memorising part...kinda touched..when we hear tat cheer frm other empires...."p is for pendulum we go whooo ha who ha pendulum.."so touching~thankz guys!!
after few more small games..it ends. and start debrief in The lt 33 ,our daily meet point..they show the slides of our camp...thankz to them...i saw my ugly pic in it...damn ps sia....hahha..
finally we did get into 3rd place~!!woohoo.kinda suprise..coz we dint do well in the 2nd day..however..is a vry good bond for all of us....
i might be super 38..
i might be hyper active..
i might be super fierce and serious..
i might look scary with my greenish eye..
all i need to say is..i enjoyed...
the process we played..we design..we complaint...WE HAV FUN!!!!
thnakz for let me havin my happiest moment after my dull exam...
PENDULUMMMM~!!!!!

PEN ! PEN!!!

RIDICULOUS NIGHT!!!!!!!!!!! WTFFFFFF!!!!!!!!!!

ARGRGRHHRHRGAGRHR U GO TO HEL!L!L!L!L!L!!L!L!L!LL!L!!
I M DAMN TIRED TODAE YET U MAKE ME CANT GO HOME

~!!!! I HATE U !!!! FOR TODAY~~~!
IT'S RIDICULOUS !!! NO ELECTRIC AT HOME?!?!??!?!
Y?!
coz never pay electric bill for more then 3 months!!kena cut off!!!!

WHEER IS THE RENTAL TAT WE PAY FOR THE
DO U KNOW I HAVIN EXAM TODAY TOMORROW AND THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW!??!?!!

U MAKES ME STUDY IN THE NOISY CORNER AT MC D~!!!!!HOUSE ARE SO NEAR YET CANT GO IN!!??!?!?!?!IS OUR FAULT?~?!?!??!??!!!

GOSH!!

NO MATTER HOW TIRED I M TODAY I GONNA POST THIS TO RELEASE MY ANGER !!!!
U ARE SUCH A LOUSY LANDLORD~!!!!!!! I M SO STRESS UP RD!!!

HAVENT PAY THE ELECTRIC BILL FOR 3 MONTHS STILL DARE TO TAKE ADVANCED RENTAL FOR JULY FRM MINGLI TODAE!!!!?!?!?!!?!??!

ITS A JOKE TAT WILL GET LAUGH BY EVERYONE IF I SAY NO ELECTRIC AT MY HOUSE IN SG!

EVEN IBU ARE BROKE SOMTIMES YET BETTER THEN THEM! I DONT EVEN MET THOSE KIND OF INCIDENT IN MSIA PLZ! CUT OFF COZ NO MONEY TO PAY~??!?!?!?!!

GOSH! C'MON!
LET US HANDLE UR MONEY ...

LUCKLY ELECTRIC ARE BACK AROUND 11~! GOSH STILL NEED US TO CALL U !OR NOT I DUNNOHOW I GONNA REVISE TAKE MY BATH ..STUDY MY MCT ...STUDY .. TMR COMP NET ..HOW I GONNA SLP TONIGHT !?THE NIGHT ARE ALREADY DAMN HOOTY HERE!!!

u are so unlucky to let me havin those stu incident during me exam week ..its fine for me if no electric during normal day
BUT IS A TOTALLY NONO FOR TODAY~!!!
GOSH..I REALLY CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE..I CANT DO ANYTHING ..
the onnly thing i can do is release my anger here!

SORRY BEING SO VIOLENT BUT I REALLY CANT TAKE IT..END..
K I GONNA STUDY AND SLP..ARHRHHRHR!!!!!
k CHILL AUD....-.- hope so...